DEFINING MOMENTS by Psychscribe

I don’t mean for this topic to be depressing, truly I don’t…but sometimes I just get tired of being so upbeat, you know? For the first three years after my lupus diagnosis, nothing much happened… it was managed by medication and I was in blissful denial. I started a full time counseling practice with my daughter and I felt as normal as anyone else…excited and happy..but the last 6 months or so my flares (for the uninitiated this means active symptoms where you feel sick, weak, achy, exhausted, foggy, and worst of all cannot go to work) have been increasing in frequency. From a couple of times a year to every couple of months. From what I have read of other people’s experiences, this is usually the beginning of the long, sad road into disability.  

However its not disability that’s on my mind so much as having to leave this world before I get to meet and enjoy my grandchildren. My paternal grandmother died of heart disease in her 40’s when I was four, so we really never got to know each other. But I was named for her. I remember my father frequently taking me to the cemetery and seeing my name on her gravestone. It didn’t frighten me, but did seem to be a connection of sorts. The same name, the same short life. Was her fate my fate?  Then my father, my hero, died in his early 50’s of cancer, leaving behind two very young and much adored grandchildren. At every life passage they’ve gone thru, I have missed him and wept for all that he and they missed..

So its hard not to worry that their destiny is mine… that I have some sort of destiny gene that will call me early from this life. I have no fear of death and passing, because I believe in my God and the hereafter…but I do so fear having to miss the rest of my life, and being an active grandmother… (They have not even been conceived yet, but my daughter promises me they will be working on it immediately following their wedding in September )  

I fear the loss of all I yearn for.

Please Lord, not yet.

What can I tell you? I find these weird things to be interesting. Scientists discovered a seal trying to have sex with a penguin, quite aggressively, I might add…

From Live Science:

“One summer morning, scientists observing elephant seals on a beach on Marion Island near the Antarctic spotted a young male Antarctic fur seal subduing a king penguin. “

“At first we thought it was hunting the penguin, but then it became clear that his intentions were rather more amorous,” de Bruyn recalled today via email.

In this article, scientists make the connection that aggression is closely linked to the mating urge in animals, and speculate it is the same in humans…. Read the full story…if these were humans it would be attempted rape for sure…

This is for cat people like myself, who find all the various species of felines to be fascinating.  Produced by National Geographic.

I will not even dignify the slime by writing his name here, or help him by promoting his book. I’m sure you noticed all the news hoopla about the tell all book. He reports that weeks after the arrest Simpson, high on drugs and alcohol, confessed to killing Nicole and Ron Goldman.  He confesses to helping Simpson get away with murder by advising him not to take his arthritis medication so his hands would swell and the glove wouldn’t fit- a key factor in the acquittal.

I don’t know the law, but it just feels like this guy should get in trouble for something. 

I remember being so shocked when I watched the not guilty verdict live that I screamed no! and threw something at the TV. Such a travesty of justice. Worse yet, my daughter was in high school at the time, and they were watching it in class. She said the boys cheered at the verdict.

I’ve always wondered what the kids grew up believing.

Did this news story trigger anyone else like it did me?

“Love takes off masks that we fear we cannot live without and know we cannot live within.” 
James A. Baldwin

I love collecting photos and images, and would like to do a photoblog, properly credited of course. Does anyone know any reason or “rule” not to do this? I can’t imagine why not but feedback is appreciated if you know something I don’t about this… Thx…

(c) 2008 Jupiter Images

Its a rainy day here in the northeast, so this photo fits my mood…(wish I could say I took it!)  Just want to share it because I think its neat, and also to ask you where you imagine that this bridge leads?

I just read an article on abc news that is worth looking at. They talk about a Consumer Reports analysis of the huge differences in prices for the same rx drugs in different states and even in different pharmacies within your state. Overall they found Costco to be the least expensive, and Rite Aid to be the most expensive. They also recommend independent pharmacies, which I was pleased to see since my sister owns one! Also, if you can’t afford your meds, or are strapped, most pharmaceutical companies have programs to help. All you have to do is call and ask if you qualify. Anyway, I hope this helps someone.

Does anyone know where I can find,download, pay for, whatever (!) the last few episodes of “In Treatment?” I’ve looked everywhere online and can’t find any way to see them. Its like the whole series vanished! Thanks in advance for any help anyone can offer.

That question came up as one of my search inquiries today, and I thought was a good one. There is the issue of violation of boundaries vs. a partner’s right to know. Obviously one who searches cells and emails etc. already doesn’t trust the partner, but there are also other ways of handling it. That being said, spoken like true therapist, I must admit that as a human being, if I thought my Alph was (were????) straying I don’t know if I’d be able to take the high road and process in a healthy manner.

Your thoughts?